A Little Inspiration

As some of y'all know, I've been working out and dieting like is my job. What most of you do not know is that I have received many e-mails, texts and phones calls from a lot of people asking about the program I was doing and sharing their own story of struggle with me. Guys, I am not a weepy person but one person has been on my mind for days now and even now I get tears in my eyes thinking how truly hard we are on ourselves. For years, I was a big girl and made 101 excuses as to why I couldn't lose weight (kept me warm in the winter), couldn't diet (food loved my fat ass) and resigned myself to the fact that since I was someone's mother I shouldn't bother looking good. It was such a bunch of bullshit I fed to myself rather than do all the things I needed to do. I was miserable and hated what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I can tell you now that there is a period of time in my life that there are no pictures of me because I hated what I saw. And then I just got tired of feeling sorry for myself. I got tired of being the fat girl with the hot husband. You know, the girl you look at and wonder what her husband is doing with her? That was me. So I made promises to myself that - since I wasn't having anymore kids - I'd lose the weight even if it killed me. I made small, feasible goals (walk a mile), started to eat smaller portions of the same crap I always ate (counted for something) and told myself that I wouldn't give up this time. And then my friend Kristin took charge and offered to train a group of us for 12 weeks - show us the basics of weights, put us on this 1200 calorie/day diet and promised to get us results. The woman doesn't coddle at all. She's awesome and has whipped my ass into possibly the best shape of my life. I'm strong and feel good about my body. I have my confidence back - it has been gone for a long time. And I actually stuck with this, which shocked the hell out of me. To my friend who I know will read this, I want you to know I will be with you every step of the way on your journey. We were never close, but I have been where you are and support you. It will not come overnight, I started working out back in December and am on week 7 or my fitness program - you have a ways to go. But I'm here and I do believe in you. We are all so hard on ourselves at times, we don't have enough faith in ourselves and overall we just don't love who we are. I have been so fortunate to have a great group of people cheering me on and it has made all those times that I've wanted to quit so much easier. My motivation has been to not let myself or my cheering crew down....but man, I miss doughnuts! I like what I see when I look in the mirror...now to work on my forgiveness and grudge holding. Eh, maybe later.